How to survive in a group atmosphere

To really understand how to survive in a group you first need to understand the four types of people in a group.

• The Leader, 
• The Wingman, 
• The Observer, 
• and the outcast. 

If you are in a healthy group everyone takes turns being each of these characters in the group and an outcast slowly becomes and observer, to a wingman, into a leader or talker. There are many deferent stages a group will. To keep things simple I will only be focused on what happens in a new group: a group of people that have just met one another.

Talker or Leader
The talker is the one leading the conversation. He or she tents to love the center of attention. Sense they love what they are doing they are happy and confident. They are sending out a vide of happy and confidence. Because of this they are the most influential person of a group. They are the most talented one of the group at enturnaning everyone. However they cannot keep everyone entertained for long if they don't have someone to bounce thoughts and ideas off of. Some one that will "yes and" the conversation, A wingman.

Wingman
A wingman is the guys or girls who share the spotlight with the talker. They will "Yes and" the conversation, witch means they will take what is being said or done and add their flair to it then pass it back to the talker. Without a wingman the talker will run out of things to talk about and before you know it the group brakes up to find the next entertaining thing. The wingman does this by becoming the talker for a time or just by laughing at the jokes of the talker. When the Wingman is not interacting with the talker they become the observer.

Observer
The Observer is what the name entails, they observe what is going one. They are the audience the talker and wingman are performing for. There could be just one or there can be a dozen observers. There needs to be at least one or their is no group. They contribute by feeling entertained and happy. They laugh and show their appreciation to the talker and wingman and this gives them energy to keep intertaing the group. If you find yourself observing a lot don't ever feel like you are not contributing because you are. When you do start feeling like your not contributing you will then start to feel like your not a part of the group and when you start feeling that your not a part of the group your actions will change into being the outcast.

Outcasts
The outcast is a person no one else likes to be around. Now you could say this person is not apart of the group, because they tend to be in the corner doing something on their own appearing like they are not listening, but they are. What sets them apart from an observer is the fact they donot react the same. An observer will smile, laugh and feel apresative. They are relaxed. An outcast does not do this so easily, They are overly quiat, they don't smile all that much, they don't laugh. They feel nervis. They are to busy thinking about what they want to say. They are so far into their own heads they are not really observing because they are thinking to much about other things. This shows on their face and in their actions. They are uncomfertible so they send out an uncomfertible vibe to everyone else and everyone else does not want to feel this, they want to feel happy, so they will stand or sit by someone else. That is what creates the outcast. The group never really thinks about the outcast, they tend to not want to think about why they chose to sit by someone else because if they did they would probably feel guilty. It only goes to show what you think about comes appon you. It is only when they stop thinking about what they want to say, become more interested in what is being said. When they want to say something they talk to the person next to them, not the group. Only then can they move from being an outcast and into an observer. To read more about Outcasts and how to avoid becoming one read the article "Avoiding the outcast in you."

Now that you understand the four types of people, surviving a group becomes quite simple.

• Listen to what the group is talking about so you can laugh when you feel laughter.
• When you want to say something say it to the person next to you, not the group.
• Do not think to long about what you want to say or you will have nothing you can say.

As you follow these simple steps it will be easier for you to stay out of your head and enjoy the people around you.